Revenge of the Fifth: Explorer Maimed by Wookiee For Winning “Chess” Game

May the Fifth

KASHYYYK- Only one day after discovering the mystic and elusive species known as the Wookiee, famed explorer Alphaeus Blackburn is reported to be in critical condition after a game of “galactic chess” quickly turned violent.

Blackburn, who faced decades of skepticism for his efforts to discover evidence of the lost civilization in the dense rainforests of Kashyyyk, made first contact with the homind-like creatures only yesterday (Read more). After having been invited back to their tree house settlement, the explorer was challenged to a friendly game of “dejarik“, a game likened to chess, played strategically by moving miniature hologram monsters.

Although Blackburn describes the Wookiee civilization as usually gentle, they are prone to devastating fits of rage when provoked as was evidenced by Blackburn winning the game– a sign of extreme cultural disrespect that culminated into a violent brawl.

The resounding lesson here is simple: Let the Wookiee win.


NEXT: May the Fourth Be With You: Explorer Captures Wookiee and Self in Photo

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Changing Planet